Mutant Murphy's Law
by Oreo Stories
Summary: Milo Murphy is a mutant, and Professor X and Magneto try to teach him. They both fail.


**Milo Murphy's Law and the X-Men franchise do not belong to me.**

* * *

Danville was… unusual, to say the least. The various residents all seemed to enjoy the chaos that happened on a day-to-day basis, or, at the very least, didn't seem to realize how unusual it was. Case in point: two prepubescent children are able to outright _'borrow'_ numerous things, from heavy construction equipment and building materials to the most advanced technology available, just by asking. The Xavier institute made a point in not going anywhere near there, as even they could only take so much weird. Unfortunately, Cerebro also couldn't detect anyone there, human or mutant, and actually focusing on it knocked professor X out for a week, giving him strange dreams of childhood whimsy that always took a turn for the surreal.

However, a recent upgrade to Cerebro (thanks to a scientist from Danville, ironically enough; he was actually a mutant himself, a technopath of sorts who could use technology to create lasers capable of any given task, including repairs, cooling, and mental manipulation. He was apparently a washout supervillain who now taught high school science) allowed Xavier to process exactly what was going on. What he saw was not pretty. An Omega-level mutant was living there, and was likely the reason why Cerebro reacted so strangely.

That was why Xavier was currently visiting Danville, accompanied by Logan. They had just made it to the home of the omega-level mutant, which was actually quite nice; it looked nothing like they had expected, as few Omega-level mutants could control their powers without outside aid or training, which meant that there was either someone who knew how to suppress mutant abilities (which, given the area, was entirely likely) or this person had an extraordinary level of self-control.

Regardless, Charles knocked on the door. A teenage boy answered, the one Charles was looking for. He was actually dressed rather nicely, at least to Xavier- a sweater vest, collared shirt, brown shorts, and loafers. Logan thought otherwise, but, then again, he also thought that a nice leather jacket was formal attire.

"Hello, young man. My name is Charles Xavier," said the wheelchair-bound man. "I'm the founder of Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, I called your family recently. Are your parents home, by any chance?"

The teen before him scratched his chin before answering. "Well, my dad is helping out a friend who broke his leg right now, but I think my mom is home. Let me go check-" Milo was interrupted by his phone ringing. He pulled it out, but, before he could do anything, it sparked violently.

"Get down!" he cried before chucking it into the front yard, where it caught fire and exploded. "I'll go get my mom," he said as if his phone hadn't just exploded.

Logan looked to his old friend. "Twenty bucks says he has explosion powers."

"Forty if you're dead wrong," Xavier said with a smirk.

A few minutes later, Milo's mother opened the door, letting the two men inside, ushering them into the living room. As Logan took a seat, the chair collapsed beneath him. Milo brought him another chair from the dining room, and they sat down to talk.

"Well, miss Murphy, I am Charles Xavier, founder of the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters. I'm here because I believe your son has a place with us." The same song-and-dance they always did continued on for a while, with Xavier explaining that they were a prestigious private school that sought out promising students from across the country, bringing them in for a free higher education. Then, once they understood the front he wanted them to, and the woman had brought out a few small snacks and non-alcoholic drinks, he tactfully broached his true intentions through casual conversation.

"By the way, have you heard? Mutants caused a few rock slides in the Grand Canyon a week or so ago."

"Well, yes. Weren't they fighting against another mutant, though? Some criminal? I know it isn't exactly a common opinion, but it seems to me that Mutants are just people with strange abilities, and that some of them are policing themselves when the actual police can't shows that at least some of them are good people."

Charles couldn't help but smile. Here was a woman who not only understood what he always wished humanity could, but approved of his team's actions.

"I ask because, now that I know your opinion on mutants, I can finally tell you the truth. You see, we are not, in fact, a normal school. We are actually an academy dedicated to supporting and teaching mutants, both in general and by helping them control and master their abilities. Your son here is a very powerful mutant."

The woman looked mildly surprised, while Milo looked interested.

"I'm a mutant? That actually explains a lot."

It was settled. Milo would come to Xavier's school, and learn to control his powers.

* * *

While Milo was happy to attend Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, and he even made a few friends, the school soon became quite unhappy he was attending. It started off small- a few broken dishes, a fallen tree, broken electronics- but life soon became miserable for everyone but Milo. _Something_ was always broken, normally-blameless property damage (as opposed to the kind that happens when children with the ability to create explosions or manipulate a specific part of their surroundings or what have you are goofing off or making mischief) was a daily occurrence, and Logan kept having to take apart the dryer because the socks were getting caught inside the electronic components, and somehow even stuffed inside the wires. Some people thought Milo was using his powers to be a jerk, but the fact that he was placed in mortal danger at least every four hours soon showed them that he couldn't actually control it.

The final straw was when the entire school lost power, water, gas, and phone service at the exact same moment. Milo was personally flown back home by Storm, where his friends Melissa and Zack were there to greet him.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the abandoned apartment building right outside city limits Genosha, Magneto looked over potential recruits. Hmm, that one looked promising- he was kicked out of Xavier's school. That meant he had some training, and was likely more than Charles could handle.

* * *

As a giant dragon-squid-person-god-thing rampaged through the bay, Apocalypse riding on one shoulder, Thanos on the other, and Deadpool clinging to the top of its head, Magneto could only watch on in horror as the chaos-bringer calmly talked to the ancient one, eventually getting him to go home. Few people were willing to talk to him in the first place, and those who did were usually either reverent or insane, so it was nice to have polite conversation.

* * *

 **This was just a little fun one-shot idea I had after remembering that Milo Murphy's Law shared a universe with Phineas and Ferb and (one of the universes of) Marvel.**


End file.
